Thursday, October 23, 2008

A Fat Statement, Followed By Better Stuff :)

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I'm starting to get a little anxiety about the trip as it nears. Tonight, I was out with Abby in the apartment yard and a car went by.....the windows were down, and I heard enough to get that sick feeling in my stomach when I saw them stop and back up. They yelled out the window " Fat A$$ Freak". Now, they were teen boys, and yes, I know kids are cruel....I know all of that, and I should just let it go in one ear and out the other. But at times....that is hard to do, and it got me riled up thinking about the people in the airport and at Disney. Sometimes the looks and snickers are so hard to deal with. Well, I have a little something to say about listen up if you're those boys or anyone like them!

I know I have no one to blame but myself for how much I weigh, but for the life of me....I just don't get why it bothers you so much. I have tried understanding it now for years, and I just can't. I know it's not the norm, and for all of you out there that have your weight under reasonable control....I'm so happy for you. But why then, does it bother you what I look like? You don't have to sleep with me, or eat dinner with me, you don't even have to look at me if you don't want what is the big deal? I really wish I understood the need to make other people feel bad about the way they look. If you think it's just are dead wrong! Some of my worst moments have been with unkind adults....using me to make themselves feel better. But does it? How can you feel better when you are hurting someone? If I disgust you, then look you somehow think my fat is going to jump off me and land on you? Hey, if it did, I'd be chasing you around the block!!! I'm just fed up with this, I really am.....I'm not bothering you, so leave me alone! There....that is out and I feel better now :)

I've been getting everything ready and things are starting to wind down here. I have Abby's bag packed and our stuff is almost ready to go as well. I took my parents to get groceries today, and they stocked up so they won't need to go while I'm away.....and if they do, it'll just be for milk at the smaller store. I got my Halloween cards out and birthday cards ready to mail for birthdays while we're away.....can't think of much more to do except clean up the apartment and do the last load of dirty towels. I want to spend tomorrow finishing that all up, so I can spend time on Saturday with my parents and Abby.

I'm so excited to see Mandy! She normally works 5 days on (13 hour days!) and 2 days off , but she took 4 vacation days while we are there so she'll have 6 full days off to spend with us, plus a couple of mornings before she goes in!! On our first day we get there, we'll head to the Magic Kingdom where she will be working to see her. They have Magic Hours that night, so the park is open until 11:00. Our good friends (our Vet) are going to be there then, so we are meeting up with them that night, too. One of our favorite things, the Food & Wine Festival, is going on in EPCOT right now, that's one of the reasons we always go down in October.....we LOVE it!! Especially Marv, he is a HUGE wine guy, and he loves to cook, so he really enjoys tasting things from other countries! Here is a link about it:
Food and Wine Festival - Epcot
They also have these great "Eat To The Beat" concerts during the fest that are usually older we saw Three Dog Night last year. I think While we are there, it's "Kool & The Gang", and "David Cassidy".

My favorite attraction at EPCOT however are my hot Canadian boys!! They are this great band that plays in the Canada pavilion a few times everyday and I sit and listen to them a bunch of times each trip....I even have all their CD's!! HAHA! You just can't beat a guy in a kilt :) Here is the link to my boys....with a lot of cute pictures:
Off Kilter - Epcot

The sad news is it looks like I may not get to meet Robin this trip :( It's just a bad time with Halloween & Gabby's she may not have that day free after all. But, if we can't, we are going to get together in March when we go back for my will be a less hectic time. She is still going to try keep your fingers crossed for us.

Well, that's it for today.....I'll be back with one more post before I leave, promise!


a corgi said...

have a great trip, Linda, I'm praying for safe travels for you and Marv

I don't know why people can't leave others alone and at least be kind and not say anything; it just saddens me how cruel people can be; I'll pray for sensitivity for people around you to just treat you with respect and kindness

I do hope you get to meet up with Robin, but it is a busy time of year


Nancy said...

(((((((LINDA))))))) I've been there, done that with the looks and comments about my weight and how I look. Usually it's just the looks that I get, but it still hurts so much. The comments have actually come from people the closest to me... family members. I am constantly so self-concsious about myself that it controls my life sometimes. So I do completely understand.

On the other note.... have a wonderful trip to Disney and to see Mandy!

Nancy :-)

Diana said...

I am so sorry that you couldn't have a peaceful time with Abby last night without the cruelty from others. I cannot see any justification is why people do what they do.

Have a wonderful trip to Disney. How great that Mandy took time off to spend with you and Marv. Enjoy Epcot. One of these days I'll get back to Disney and enjoy it. Last time we were there, my kids were elementary school age and of course didn't have patience to walk through exhibits that didn't interest them.

I'll be thinking of you!!!



Jeannette said...

You keep that positive attitude. Do not let the bastards grind you down. You are you and loved for exactly how you are.

LYN said...

sticks and stones hunny...
you go have the time of your life with your beloved daughter...
wave at me as you fly over now...

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Your trip is going to be so wonderful. Forget about the insults and just enjoy yourself. Keep your positive attitude and have a great time. 'On Ya' - ma

lisa jo said...

when the J land thing blew up and those who hate me came here, to blogger, and set up a blog to mock me, the # 1 thing they spent SO much of their time on is my obesity. There was much worse that they could have went on and on about but my 250 lbs sent them over the edge and they had a field day with my blubber. I do not get that, do you? Who gives a true shit what another person weighs?
I love you because your soul is pure and you have the biggest heart on earth. I know how you feel and those people in that car were raised wrong and should be ashamed of themselves. Someday they might be if they ever grow a brain and learn compassion.

i LOVED Epcot when we went. Honestly, it was the only park i enjoyed so you three go and have the time of your lives. I will miss you!!!!! Be safe and give Mandy a huge hug from me!
love you always!!!!

gina said...

{{{linda}}}} it breaks my heart that you have to endure such treatment. i've never understood how people of any age can be so cruel to others. just know one day when we get to heaven there will be nothing but perfection and love!! have a wonderful trip!!!

Estela said...

Aw Linda, I'm really sorry that you had to experience that. I have never understood that type of bullying either. Kids like that usually learn that intolerant attitude from their parents or other adults in their lives. HUGS, Estela

Phyllis said...

I can't believe people are so cruel even if they are teenagers. I'm sorry it happened. I'm sorry it happens to anyone. With that said, let's focus on the positive and that is you are just days away from getting to see your precious baby! You are meeting your vet? I thought the vet kept abby cakes? Glad you are winding down all your chores and gearing up for a fun filled relaxing trip!

Anonymous said...

Linda I am shocked and sad that happened to you. If only people saw us by our insides, they wouldnt have done that to you. They would have been stopping to chat knowing that just to talk to you was a blessing they were unworthy of.

I will tell you what I have told my kids in the past when someone is mean. They wouldnt know how to be mean if someone hadnt done it to them and now they arent really smart enough to stop the cycle. Maybe someday they will be. These kids would stop and say something, anything, to anyone. They are bullies, if they didnt pick on weight it would be something else!

For now, just dont think about them anymore. And take this hug...

I hope you are able to see Robin, but if not, your trip to Disney sounds like alot of fun and you will get to see Mandy, yay!

Traci said...

David Cassity!!!!! Worth the trip if only for him!!!!! I'm praying for your anxiety!

Heather said...

I found you! I'm trying to find everyone from aol journals and I'm so excited to find your journal. It's amazing how many of us are linked through one another's journals. A lot of other people's journals I read also read yours. Anyway, I can't stand when people (young or old) make fun of others to make themselves feel better. I just don't understand what they get out of making someone else feel bad. We all know what a wonderful person you are and the people who matter aren't going to judge you by your size. I hope you have a wonderful trip to FL!!
xoxo, Heather

June said...

I don't understand the cruelty from others either. Please don't let their actions get you down. You are a beautiful person inside and out.
I hope you get to meet up with Robin, I read her blog and would love to meet her myself! She is so down to earth and has a great sense of humor. I pray for a safe trip for you and Marv and enjoy your time with Mandy.

Robin said...

I think it is like the weak animal in the pack...the others pick on it, leave it behind, and sometimes even kill it. I do believe it makes them feel better about's very sad and it hurts me you have to deal with this kind of thing so often.

Sugar said...

i am so sorry for all that have to endure those type remarks & stares. i can feel your pain, altho i'm nearly 400 lbs, i've been blessed to not have much of that, i am my own worst enemy! i'm sure htere have been a lot behind my back, but few that i hear or see.
but you have true grit, & you'll do fine, just don't dwell on it too much. focus on disney, mandy, & having fun!!!!
you're one of the sweetest people i know.

Myra said...

Linda, I am so sorry you endure such despicable people. They are ignorant, plain and simple. They don't get that hurting others is morally wrong! David Cassidy?? OMG...I love him!! He was on Oprah a few months ago and the audience just went nuts!! Have a great time!

Emmi said...

I have no earthly idea why people are so mean to people who don't fit into their picture of what a person should look like. I've pretty much always been on the heavier side of healthy but I live, love, & laugh the same as everyone else. The best thing you can do is pray for them and not let it get to you. Your a beautiful person & anyone who doesn't see that is missing out on a wonderful person.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Well Said!

I clicked both links, and it looks like you will have a great time. All five senses will get a treat :o)

Linda said...

I hope you have a great trip! The wine festival sounds awesome! I am so sorry that people are so cruel sometimes. Linda

Janis said...

Sorry you had to go through that...I don't get it either. Seems there is more discrimination (and it is accepted) about "fat" people then just about anything else.

Sigh....wish it was a perfect world!

Have a fantastic time!

breakaway said...

LINDA! I have to say that people who have to make fun of other people are only doing it to make themselves feel better. THEY are the ones with the problem. OH do I hate people like that! The good thing is you get to see Mandy soon :D That will cheer you right up. I am finally getting to everyones journals...I should be cleaning...we got company coming soon but wanted to come say hi to you and wish you a GREAT trip! can't wait to hear about it when you get home.

Anonymous said...

Oh Linda your entry broke my heart. I don't understand how people can be so cruel. I would love to give you a big hug. Hope that you have a relaxing and safe trip.

Anonymous said...

Linda I dont care what you look like no one deserves that!! No one But you need to understand who cares what others say or think, Be you!!! It doesnt matter what you weigh Its who you are on the inside It took me a long time to get that one You have every right to be out and about with Family and if someone dont like what they see thats on them But dont let it destroy You!!Be strong God Bless you and Have a safe trip You are in my thoughts and prayers! Kat:)

Tracy said...

sorry you had to go thrue that, people are so cruel sometimes! i hope you have a safe and wonderful trip! take pics :) hugs

Robyn said...

I am sorry those boys were so nasty to you! In alot of instances it is a learned behaviour and they are not taught as children it is not ok to hurt people like that! Ingorance!! I deal with a lot of crappy remarks on a daily basis with my son not looking normal and I know that it can get really hard to just let it roll off your back and not effect you. Have a safe trip, and have a blast! I cannot wait to see pictures when you get back!
Hugs to you hun!

MizMags said...

What makes me happy about this whole post is you didn't apologize for it! AND, although it's painful you are working at letting this roll off your back. I know how this feels as do many of your readers here. Nothing I can say can take away that pain. I never understood why folks would take the time to humilate and embarrass a complete stranger. For kicks, maybe? My response to that is "get a life" I also agree with Janis who said it's an acceptable discrimination. I'm sorry, Linda AND (not but, lol) proud of you for pulling yourself up! You're going to have an amazing time with your family in a very short while. Screw anyone who TRIES to put a damper on it, NOT HAPPENING!!!! Right?
Love yourself, you're worth it. Believe!!!
love and hugs,

Joyce said...

I wish I knew why people feel the need to ridicule someone heavy people. I'm really lucky to have lived and worked where I have (I'm pretty hefty too). Southerner's are inherently kind and while I'm sure they say (among themselves) "Bless her heart, she has a weight problem", they never say anything I can actually hear.
Hugs, Joyce

Arlene (AJ) said...

Linda don't let anyone get to you, just allow yourself to enjoy your visit with Mandy and have fun while you are there. Keep a smile on your face and ignore those with their sick mouths, there are always some people that couldn't be nice if they tried. Hope you and Robin do meet up, if not, you'll have another time to look forward too.

Michelle said...

Have a wonderful time in Disney with Mandy!!!

I'm sorry those teens did that to you - and its true adults can be just as cruel or worse.

Just know that I think (and everyone else that knows you) that you are teh most beautiful person inside and out = and that you are very loved!!!

Now have a wonderful time!!!



Indigo said...

I don't understand people either hon...sigh...I don't have a weight problem but I get the weird looks and nasty comments when someone is behind me and I didn't hear them say excuse me or something in that matter. Then the restaurant owners who want to seat you as far away from customers as they can because you have a working dog. I had friends flat out abandon me when I went deaf...I asked the same thing, you did...Do you think it's contagious that I'll rub off on you.

People are cruel about things they don't understand. Someone said bullies(that's what these people remind me of) tend to be cruel out of fear. Thing is between you and me...we're the kindest souls out there.

What goes around, comes around...don't let them bother you sweet friend.

Keeping my fingers crossed you might still get to meet Robin. The trip sounds like it's going to be wonderful this time of year. Have a great time and enjoy yourself. You will be in my thoughts while your gone. (Hugs)Indigo

Julia said...

People with low self esteem are the ones who do things like that. If your self assured and confident you don't need to belittle yourself at the expense of others. I am so sorry that happened. Hugs

Wendy in Oz said...

OMG! Linda you really need to say that (the bit about the fat jumping off and onto them and chasing them around the block) to these morons that make comments like this! You had me peeing myself laughing at that comment! But I get what you mean and you are totally right. It doesn't make damn bit of difference in their life so why the need to comment - because they are so insecure in who they are - thats why! You may beat yourself up over your weight and I know you suffer from depression too, but you are a better person that these idiots will ever be - large or small - you are a GOOD person and in the end, when we come to the end of the road and HE decides which way we go - you can be assured of your wings in Heaven! Those with the mean mouths however, well they better like it HOT is all I can say!!!!
Have a great trip.


Wendy in Oz

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