Thursday, October 9, 2008

Yep, I'm excited..




My countdown to go see Mandy is getting closer....I'm so eager to see her! For those of you new to my blog, Mandy is my daughter, and she works for the Big Mouse House in Orlando. I don't talk much about her job in my journal, as I would never want to say things I'm not supposed to, ya know? She is the Operations Manager for Fantasy Land & Liberty Square in the Magic Kingdom..and she loves what she does. It makes it tough on Mom & Dad though, to have her live 1200 miles away....oh how we miss our only child! But, as hard as it was on her (and us!) to leave & make the adjustment of living away from home, it was so good for her...it allowed her to spread her wings in many ways she never would have, had she stayed tied to us. This is really what you want...to raise your child to be able to live on their own and be a happy, responsible adult, and as much as I long to have her around....I wouldn't wish her back. I'm proud of her, and it does my heart good to see her bloom where she has planted her feet. Nothing says I can't go down there and spoil her like crazy a few times a year....right? :)

I'm dreading the trip physically, because since I'm the heaviest I've ever been, I know that it's going to be hard on me...harder than it was before when I was heavy. We have rented the wheelchair again because my feet swell so badly and it's just too much walking for me. It's sad, and I'm so angry that I was out of that chair two years ago, and now....her I am, once more, too fat to walk around and enjoy Disney with my family the way I want to. I know, no looking back at what I can't undo, but still....I'm angry with myself. I'm going to try hard to just remember that because I'm this way now, does not mean that next year at this time I have to be this heavy. Maybe, being embarrassed because I can't fit into seats, through turnstiles, etc, will be good for me, a wake up call of sorts. I don't know what it's going to take (sigh). What I do know is I'm worried about it, and how I let people make me feel bad about myself when I'm in public.

But enough of that....happy thoughts only! While we're there, we're going to take Mandy shopping for a couch, she needs a new one and it will be fun seeing what her tastes are these days. Speaking of couches, I need to be looking for some of my own! We have to replace two couches, two love seats, & three chairs......and we don't have too much of an idea yet what we want. We looked at a really nice burgundy leather set at The Lazy Boy Shop that we may get for the living room, just not sure. We let Abby Cakes get on the furniture, and that's not going to change, so we have to take that into consideration with what we choose. We're pets on the bed and couch kind of people, always have been....how bout you? We are going this weekend to look at flooring, as we have a lot of that to get....the entire house full needs to be replaced. I'll let you know if we make any decisions.

That's it for me, as I need to read more blogs....as hard as I try to keep up, I'm still missing some! Have a great start to your weekend and remember you have a friend here in Michigan who cares about you :)

Pooh Hugs,
Linda




MySpace Countdown Clocks

29 comments:

Phyllis said...

I took Matthew furniture shopping last year- an entire day - he couldn't make up his mind on anything - and at the end of it he said, "was it like having a daughter for the day?" LOL. I know you will have fun with Mandy. You'll be so busy and having so much fun too. That's what you deserve girlie!

Sherry said...

You have a right to be angry ,sad,disappointed, but mostly you have a right to be happy,excited,and you have the right to go any where you want to go or do what ever you want to do .. alot of the time we let our weight hold us back and that is not the way to go , we are not less of a human because there is more of us to carry around , we are all gifts in our own way.. let yourself grieve and you will feel so much better and to hell with what others think .. I gained back my weight too but it won't stop me from anything , because I am beautiful ,vibrant and I am a strong woman... and you are stronger than me .. because you are the sweetest,kindest person I have ever had the privelidge to call my friend,my sister and my partner in one of the toughest journies of my life ..
I am sending you hugs and prayers
hugs
Sherry
http://sherry-weightloss-journey.blogspot.com/

Joann said...

Disappointment in ourselves is just our motivation sometimes!! I'm sorry that you are feeling that way... but time for happy thoughts now!! I MAY go down to Florida again for Thanksgiving, not sure yet!! I'm excited for you going though!!

Joann

Melissa said...

Linda,

I wish I could skip up there to Michigan and give you the biggest hug! I feel so bad that you're feeliing so bad about yourself. I'm a very good judge of character and I'm telling you that I KNOW that you are one of the sweetest spirits on God's green earth!

I want you to go visit your daughter and hold your head up high as your tour with your family. You enjoy every minute of that trip and don't give what other's may say a second thought. If they have a problem, it's THEIR problem. I want to see you get healthy for YOU, not anyone else. If you need an encourager, I'm volunteering for the job. You are worth so much more than you know. You heart is pure gold and anyone that reads you for five minutes knows that. And if they don't, you just send them to me!

Hugs,
Melissa

a corgi said...

I loved what you wrote about Mandy, your love/pride for her shows up so much and you/Marv did a wonderful job raising her!!! good job Mom/Dad!!

you just go and have a wonderful time, Linda; don't look back, but ahead

sounds like fun couch shopping with Mandy!

we are let the dog on the furniture kind of people too, LOL; we bought our new couch with Koda in mind and the rug on the living room floor too; gotta love them!

betty

Jeannette said...

You go ahead, please do not feel bad about yourself. It is the person inside who counts. I have been there, felt that embarrassment, now I no longer care. I am me and people can take me or leave me.

~Cherubhugs~ said...

I hope you have the best time with Mandy! I know you are so excited about the visit, you can tell just from your words. You should be very proud of her. She has accomplished so much. Update when you can. We will miss you. ((((hugs))))

Ann~

Traci said...

I love your counter. Too cute! I'm sorry it will be such a rough trip. I know you will have fun regardless!

gina said...

oh linda, i know how you look forward to your trips to see mandy and i'm excited for you. just try to keep that positive outlook and when those negative feelings start creeping in, just stomp them right down and refuse to give them a foothold. you are a special person to many many people and especially to our Lord...so don't worry about what someone else might think. you can do this!! when you get a chance jump over to my new blog and have a look. :)

Emmi said...

Stay positive ... it's the best medicine around. =D

Myra said...

The circumstances of how you've come to be able to shop for furniture are truly unfortunate...but how FUN...to shop for new stuff! Linda, you are an inspiration! In spite of all you have been through, and even your words today, show that you have faith. In God, and in yourself. Please don't let others ruin your time with Mandy, or spoil your fun. Take care...

LIZ said...

I love furniture shopping...however I have vowed not to replace my couches until the rest of the kids are out of the house...lol. The keep spilling things on them so it will be slip covers for me for awhile.

Have a great day, Liz

Diane said...

you go and have a lovely time with Mandy it doesn't matter what other people think it is them with the problem not you! they don't know what a wonderful person you are and we are the luckiest people to have you here and give us support when we need it so I am giving you a little support go out there and hold your head up high and have lots of fun.
Lots of Hugs and kisses
Diane xxx

LYN said...

WAVE AT ME AS YOU FLY/DRIVE PAST OK??
ENJOY!!

Amanda said...

((((((((((((((((HUGSOYOU)))))))))))))))))))That is so exciting that your Daughter works at Disney World.I was there just this past Sept with my Mom and my Sister and Her family.How ever we didnt get to see much like I wanted to,because due to a death in the church.Dont be hard on yourself about the weight.I know it isnt easy.

Meg said...

Furniture shopping? Not fun! No shopping is fun to me, actually. lol
Look...don't be mad at yourself. What's done is done, and it is what it is. It was a learning experience. And you'll rally to the task again, and WIN. Please know I mention you often in my prayers, and I KNOW God hears.
~Meg

Nancy said...

Aww Linda, you are an amazing person no matter what size you are. And no, feeling bad is never a good motivator for change. It just isnt. I cant even advise you because I gained back 10 pounds that I struggled so hard to lose and here it is again, making it impossible for me to wear anything cute, cause everything is too tight. In my neighborhood, filled with the frosted tanned alpha moms, well, its just hard to feel good about yourself.
But you know what we are in this for the long haul and there will be ups and downs and this is just a momentary down! What if we never lose weight? We will have sacrificed happiness because of it. I'm trying hard not to let that be the case.
I hope my kids turn out as successful as your Mandy!!!When we bought our couch we made a critical mistake...we got a beige one. Beige and pets dont mix! :-)

Arlene (AJ) said...

Linda I know you'll enjoy being in Poohland and seeing your daughter, don't worry about anything or anyone else....just enjoy. You've got a great attitude on Mandy going forth with building her life and reaching for her goals work wise and everything else, proud of you.
House refixing and replacing can have a positive direction....getting to replace what you'd owned for several years and start fresh, but just wish it hadn't happened the way it did for you and Marv. Take care. Arlene(AJ)

Estela said...

I am not a pets on the furniture kind of gal... but the pets can be sneaky and I'm not as attentive as I should be to prevent such things... LOL

~Kat~ said...

Hello I love your blog so much!!! Just be the best you!!! It doesnt matter what others think its whats inside and I no just from reading your blog You are a pretty amazing women. Your daughter didnt get to be the beautiful person she is without you and your husband and family so That says alot Just have fun and live for today! Blessings on your trip and say Hi to Micky for me lol Kat:)

Linda said...

I bet you are really excited about seeing Mandy! Just think about the excitement of seeing her and not about all the other stuff that depresses you! Linda

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

We all struggle with our challenges, and you have overcome the most important hurdle, which is recognition. Go and enjoy your trip, and set new goals for when you return. Hugs :o)

D said...

you have a blast on that trip... I'm a bit behind on journals but I'm getting there.
hugs

erarein63 said...

It's so hard not to beat ourselves up. I think we are all good about that. I'm the heaviest I've ever been (besides pregnancy) and I hate myself. Ugh! It's just stress. Working, not sleeping, not eating right. I know it will get better for both of us. In the meantime happy thoughts and use the wheelchair as a motivator. Enjoy your trip and time with Mandy! de ;)

Nancy said...

I had to come and reply to your comment on my Greys Anatomy blog.....

Yes, there should be more kissing between M and D!

Eeek! there is something about Denney in the season premiere? OMG. I must go watch right now!!
:-D

Rose said...

Your Journal was like a day filled with sunshine. I loved it.

Hugs, Rose

http://roses-are-read.blogspot.com/

Wendy in Oz said...

Never mind the anger and sadness - YOU'RE GOING TO SEE MANDY!!!! That is all you need to focus on my friend. Your daughter needs you around - that is all the motivation you need!

And yes, we too are dog on the couch and bed people!!! There is nothing like snuggling with Daisy on a cold night!

Have a great weekend.

Hugs

Wendy in Oz

mishia said...

I have 2 dogs and 3 cats...they are all on the bed on the furniture kinda animals...(not on the kitchen tables and cabinets though--ewwwww) but our animals are our family and they are with us all of the time. When you take Mandy shopping you can get a better idea of what you want!! Remember that leather scars. I have leather in my living room and my dogs have scarred it really bad. But...it cleans easier. I guess it depends on what you want to give up to get...I wish I were going to Disney with y'all....I think we might be going at Christmas.
Mishia

Christy said...

I'm so behind Linda, but I do have a good excuse..I went to Prague and Poland this past weekend!!

I hope you have a wonderful time visiting Mandy and I pray that no one will make you feel bad. You absolutely WILL get this weight off and keep it off once and for all and I'm praying for you.

As for furniture and animals, well I'd prefer our cat NOT get on ours, but she does and I guess I'm just a push over because most often she's crawling into my lap if Emma's not there! When we get a dog (no time soon), I don't plan to allow her/him on the furniture though. We have suede furniture so it's just not good to have pets on it!!